The curse of Alma's Autobiography Paulus Manker |
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I don´t understand how she could have imagined that
all these famous persons - who were her husbands and her lovers
- didn´t leave behind them notes, letters that will
be researched, and exposed to the last detail. And that´s
what happened with persons like La Grange, for exampel, who
researched Mahler´s life in such great detail that it´s
obvious that he knows about Mahler much more than Mahler knew
about himself. And La Grange does not leave one inch or one
millimeter, which is not exposed to the fiercest light. So,
when you put Alma´s pitiful attempts to cover up certain
facts in her life against the light, which is now shed on
her biography by Mahler´s biographer, so by Kokoschka´s
biographer, so by Gropius" biographers - let alone the
fact that Gropius kept copies of the letters that he has sent
to Alma, alongside with the letters that he recieved from
Alma, and she probably didn´t know that he was a maniac
of order - so everything is there. And then her autobiography
becomes a document which tells a lot about her naivity, in
a way. And I think that she must have been very naive to believe
that she could canalize the story of her life without exposing
herself to the accession that she was a liar. |
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Before I started to write the play I read about her, I pondered about her, and became, so to speak, "pregnant" with her personality. And I felt a lot admiration to her courage. Because it deserved a lot of courage from a young woman at that time to do what she did. First of all to throw away her entourage, and opt for Mahler. Then betray Mahler with a guy like Gropius, and doing it almost in the open. And then in the open go with Kokoschka without even dreaming of a marriage with him. Doing what she did with Werfel while she was married to Gropius. And even that courage then, when she was already eleven years older than Werfel, to pick him up as her next husband. She had no respect for bourgeois - or petit bourgeois - taboos. And this in itself makes of her quite a person you have to respect. That boldness, that courage of hers to follow her feelings, and to live up to her feelings. She did not make any compromises when it came to her human contacts. When she loved someone she did not care about anything. She went to her love. And that is a lot in a society which was so ridden with conventions, and with mediocrity, and with compromises. I don´t think she made any compromises when she chose her lovers or her husbands. I think that proves that she was a very bold person. And I have a lot of respect for that. |